Home Sweet Home…
Well…I am officially a house renter! I will (not) tearfully say goodbye to the community bathrooms and “one room fits all” lifestyle of dorm living and will welcome a room and door to myself, a bathroom, a fully-functioning kitchen, and all of the other joys of living in a house, with wide open arms. After praying for guidance and discernment, we were led to the most precious little house…that looks like a life-size dollhouse. We are so excited to be able to open up our new home to friends and family and pray that our house would be one full of laughter, love, grace, and fellowship. We are also super excited to decorate our first house…and are already trying to think of a name for our new precious home and have begun sifting through Pinterest for brilliant (and cheap) art projects. I can’t wait to see what adventures will inevitably ensue- who knows, maybe I’ll even learn how to cook? Now there’s a scary thought. I can’t wait to see what memories are made and what opportunities for ministry and fellowship come our way. Goodbye dorm and hello house!
Housies...Homies...What is the "House Version" for Roomies?
Shopping, Food, and Gatlinburg…
For the CSF Winter Retreat, we ventured down to the town of lights, random trinkets, and hillbilly goodness…yup, Gatlinburg, Tennessee. The trip was an awesome escape in the midst of the craziness of school and was a nice distraction from the cold that has decided to grace us with its presence…winter, you have made your presence known, now it’s time to go back where you came from. Bring on the warm weather and sunshine! The trip was mainly focused on building and strengthening friendships and intentionally pouring into each other’s lives. On Saturday, a group of us went to apple heaven...aka- The Apple Barn. Phew. Let’s just say you could tell we were a bunch of college kids who hadn’t had a home cooked meal in a while. We devoured our ridiculously delicious food and then were physically in pain and felt as though we needed to be rolled out of the restaurant. After deciding that we were in dire need of walking off our food, we decided to walk around the main street of Gatlinburg and shop…no, laugh at all of the hilarious trinkets that were being sold. After walking up and down the strip for a few hours and not purchasing a single thing, we headed back to the hotel and got ready to eat…again. Dang, I felt like I had gained the freshmen fifteen in a single weekend. Ha!
Yeah...We Are Beary Cool.
The retreat was a great escape and was a huge blessing, as I was able to have great conversations with sweet friends, worship alongside my precious brothers and sisters in Christ, and grow closer to the Lord. The message of the weekend was about altaring our lives- past, present, and future- so that we can have altered lives. This concept convicted me and made me uncomfortable as I realized that while I have given God control over parts of my life, I continue to hold the reigns of others. I realized (once again) that in order to be all that the Lord has created and called me to be and in order to live an altered and transformed life, I have to lay down every part of my life in total surrender. As AW Tozer so eloquently said, “The essence of surrender is getting out of God’s way so that He can do in us what He wants to do through us.” I am choosing to step aside and let the greatest Author of all time write my story.
Choices…
Lately, I have just been in a bit of a funk. These past few weeks, Satan has tried to get a foothold on my heart and has used petty circumstances to steal my joy. Homework, exams, a busy schedule, and a lack of sleep makes for one highly emotional and vulnerable Emilee. I chose to wallow in my weakness and my stress rather than handing over my problems to the One who can handle it all. I chose to trade my joy for circumstantial happiness and sadness rather than a joy that is unwavering and found only in the Lord. Choices. We make thousands of choices every day- whether to wake up for your 8:00AM class, one snooze or two, yoga pants or jeans, Nature Valley Bar or Special K bar, Sperry’s or tennis shoes, Northface or winter coat…and these are just in the first five minutes after waking up. Our lives are consumed with choices- some trivial and some significant. After living in a state of simply being for too long- performing the day-to-day tasks, fulfilling my obligations, and drudging through my days, I realized that I was choosing to make my days monotonous. I was choosing to let circumstances steal my joy. I was choosing to let Satan have a foothold on my heart. I was choosing to look at the circumstances as struggles instead of opportunities to cling to the Lord and grow in Him. Yes I had asked for the Lord to give me strength and to fill my spirit with joy, but I wasn’t saying those things with an abandoned heart. I was convicted by James 1:5-7 which states, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” While I was asking God for wisdom, discernment, peace of mind, and joy, I wasn’t asking Him in complete confidence that what I asked would be given to me. After I realized this, I knew that I had some choices to make: Choose to be content with flippant happiness or be fulfilled with unwavering joy (Philippians 4:4). Choose to stumble in my weakness or walk in confidence with a sense of peace in knowing that in the midst of my weakness, the Lord is strength (1 Peter 5:6-7 and Philippians 4:13). Choose to worry or find peace in Him (Philippians 4:6-7 and 1 Peter 5:7). Choose to let Satan have a foothold on my heart or be made whole in the Lord and let Him fight for me (Exodus 14:14 and Exodus 13:2-3). Choose to take control of my life or hand over the pen of my life story, trusting that His plan is far better than my own (Jeremiah 29:11 and Jeremiah 33:3). I choose joy. I choose His strength. I choose peace. I choose Him as my warrior. I choose His plan.
The scripture above and listed below has spoken such truth into my heart...
Philippians 4:6- Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your request to God.
As I’ve said in other posts, music often puts my thoughts and feelings into words that I am unable to express. Here are some of the songs that have convicted me most these last few days…
Lord, I Need You- Chris Tomlin
I often wake up singing this song, “Lord I need You, oh I need You. Every hour, I need you. My one defense, my righteousness. Oh God how I need you.” When we admit to our utter dependence on the Lord, we are able to find peace and strength in Him. We are so weak but He is so strong. I absolutely love the vulnerability and weakness of this song- we admit that we are too weak and too incapable of handling even a single hour without His strength.
None But Jesus- Hillsong
Goodness, this song gives me cold chills, without fail, every time I listen to it. I absolutely LOVE this song and the concept that Jesus is all we need. I am convicted every time I listen to this song and want to fall to my knees in humble surrenderance and gratitude that He is all we need and fully sustains us. “There is no one else for me, none but Jesus. Crucified to set me free, now I live to bring Him praise. In the chaos, in confusion I know You’re sovereign still. In the moment of my weakness, You give me grace to do your will.”
Waiting Here For You- Christy Nockels
Far too often I have sung these words with an earthly perception of what truly waiting for the Lord means. As I sing the words, “Waiting here for You, with our hands lifted high. And it’s you, we adore. Singing alleluia.” I cry out to the Lord, asking for patience and an ability to surrender and be obedient to Him, but quickly become impatient when I don’t hear from Him. In the midst of my impatience, I stopped and asked myself, who am I to put limits on God’s timing? And who am I to say that in the midst of His silence that He isn’t teaching and growing mean and revealing Himself to me. Oswald Chambers says in My Utmost for His Highest, “When you cannot hear God, you will find that He has trusted you in the most intimate way possible- with absolute silence, not a silence of despair, but one of pleasure, because He saw that you could withstand an even bigger revelation.” He goes on to say, “A wonderful thing about God’s silence is that His stillness is contagious- it gets into you, causing you to become perfectly confident so that you can honestly say, “I know that God has heard me.” His silence is the best proof that He has.” Silence is hard, especially in the midst of questions we desperately want answered, but as a friend of mine so eloquently said, “to truly follow God is to be surprised by God.” We have to be willing to surrender everything every day and choose to embark on the most amazing adventure the world has ever known, in order to experience the riches the Lord longs to shower us with. I am waiting here for Him, with arms lifted high and eyes looking to the one who holds the “treasure map” of my life.
Found By You- Britt Nicole
Came to My Rescue- Hillsong
Show Me Your Glory- Jesus Culture
One Thing Remains- Jesus Culture
Beautiful Things- Gungor
The Stand- Hillsong United
How Great Is Our God- Chris Tomlin
Clinging to the Cross- Tim Hughes
Come to Me- Jamie Grace
All I Need- Kim Walker
Happy Valentines Day! May this day be a day full of opportunities to remind those that mean the most to you how much you love them and praise the Lord for putting such special people in your life! I know I am often overwhelmed by the abundant blessings He showers my life with and am excited to have this day to spend intentional time loving on, praying for, and thanking the Lord for such incredible blessings. Candy, flowers, and Cupid aside, I hope you take time to fall deeper in love with our forever Valentine and Prince, today and every day.
