Our First 1st

I am feeling quite beautifully blessed today as I celebrate one year of loving the man of my dreams. One year ago today, Darin and I went on our first date…and my first ever date. Talk about nerves. Ha! Seriously, I was SO nervous. Apparently I had a fear of commitment I was unaware of and a fear of being alone with a boy. My goodness. What a perfect date it turned out to be though...a date full of great conversations, pretty places, and amazing company. I had never felt so special in all my life.

August 1, 2012 & August 1, 2013

On August 1, 2012 Darin and I committed to love, pursue, and treasure each other. We chose to enter into a relationship we believed was God ordained and orchestrated and chose to fully embrace a love neither of us fully understood. From August 1, 2012 on, I have been falling more and more in love with the amazing man God has made Darin to be. As I reflect on this day one year ago, I tear up imagining the journey it took to get to that point. The heartache, the frustration, the misunderstanding, and the countless (seriously countless) prayers prayed, all paid off as we started our journey together. And what a journey it has been. My goodness, as I think back on this past year, it is honestly pretty difficult to believe all that happened in just 365 days. Darin and I have been blessed beyond belief with amazingly sweet moments, valuable lessons, and a love bigger and better than I ever imagined possible. We have endured the struggles of a long distance relationship, maximized every moment we had together, and have grown in tremendous ways as the Lord led us every step of the way. It has been absolutely amazing to see how God has used Darin so uniquely and so boldly in my life. He has revealed areas of my heart I never knew existed, has brought out a passionate desire to love, serve, and further the Kingdom, and has shown me what it feels like to be pursued and loved unconditionally. Darin has embodied sacrifice, patience, gentleness, and love in a way I had never seen or experienced. It is absolutely humbling to have the opportunity to love and be loved by Darin Mirante.

I could say so many more words. Words talking about the lessons I’ve learned, about the joys I have experienced, about the places we have gone, the people we have met, the memories we have shared…but instead, I will simply say this: This year has been one of the most unexpected, amazing, difficult, joyful, and beautiful years yet. I get to love and be loved by an incredible and Godly man and that brings me to tears. I love love.

Happy 1 Year Anniversary, sweet love of mine!

Here is a quick glimpse at the adventures we have shared this year…

August 1, 2012

 September

October

November

December

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

Oh what a joyous evening we had celebrating our first 1st Anniversary as we called it. He loves me so well and I am so thankful. After a ridiculously busy last few weeks...or months, it was SO nice to be able to spend quality time with just him. Ahh, I enjoyed every minute. In sticking with tradition, my sweet boy came to the front door and I was greeted with THE most handsome man and THE most gorgeous flower arrangement. Seriously, I have never seen such beautiful flowers. And to add to the sweetness, he had decorated the vase with love and anniversary stickers. I mean, seriously? Totally blushed and was shaking when I saw him because I was so excited to see him. Ha! 

Throughout the year, Darin and I have declared certain places we have visited as "our spots." These are our go-to happy/pretty/relaxing places. One of these spots is Eden Park, which just so happens to be where our first date was. Sticking with our love of adventure AND our spots, Darin found a super fun and delicious restaurant in Eden Park called VIEW Cucina. Umm...yum! It was super tasty and the atmosphere was perfect. We got to the restaurant right before sunset and were able to enjoy a beautiful meal outside with a view of the Ohio River. Oh it was just lovely. After we ate our meals, we were (somewhat) coaxed into trying one of their desserts. Best decision of the night! Ha! We got a homemade-literally everything was homemade- s'more dessert. Oh my word, it was so yummy. After having super happy and full stomaches and super happy and full hearts, we walked around Eden Park and just totally soaked up our time together. It was perfect.

 Dijon Crusted Lemon Sole (his) & Goat Cheese Ravioli (hers) 

Oh I just loved having that special time with my sweet love. It was so perfect because it was with him. I'm pretty sure I would have been just as happy eating a PB&J in an empty room as long as he was with me. Darin shows me and tells me about love in a way I have never experienced. I am humbled every single day by the opportunity to love and be loved by him. I treasure our love and thank God for leading us together and also pray for continued guidance, wisdom, and opportunities to learn how to better love and serve together in the years to come. 

I love you, babe! You make me better every day and lead me to Jesus. I love your love and treasure the amazing gift that it is. I love you today, tomorrow, forever, and for always. Happy First 1st!

Sophomore Year: The Struggle and The Splendor

Goodness gracious. I have sat down to write this blog for several months (seriously…like 3+ months) now but haven’t had the words or the emotional energy to begin processing this past school year. By far, sophomore year was the most emotionally taxing and difficult year I have experienced. I suppose I have waited so long to truly sit and process because I wanted the good memories to flood my mind rather than the exhaustion and emotion that seemed to be far too common this year. I started this year different than I had left. I started the year with a changed heart and a shifting contentedness at UK. As the year went on, my heart was split in two as I balanced a serious relationship back home with the demands and pressure of school, friends, and CSF, in Lexington. It was a tough balance to maintain and one that became extremely emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically exhausting. My word this year was weary.

The year was full of change. Seriously. And if you know me, you know that I struggle with change. Especially when it’s not self-inflicted. Ha! Honestly, I was an emotional wreck this school year. It seemed that from October on, I cried most days. I struggled with loneliness, feeling detached, feeling torn, and feeling like I was incapable of making and keeping friends because my heart was being pulled in so many directions. I struggled to feel like I was fulfilling a purpose. I struggled with insecurity and questioned my value. I just flat out struggled. I had never experienced spiritual battle the way I did this past year. There were days I would wake up crying and with a racing heart, completely plagued with anxiety for no real reason. I would cry myself to sleep many nights praying that God would somehow reveal to me what He was doing in my life and in my heart. I longed for the Emilee that was so full of joy and so quick to laugh. I beat myself up wondering why I couldn't just choose joy and feel better. I didn't know what I was doing wrong and was desperate to find the problem and fix it. It honestly became comical how much I cried…in a pathetic kind of way.  I became so frustrated with my emotions and sadness that I cried about crying. Ha! Seriously, I was a mess. A very hot mess. My heart was just so restless and desperate for peace.  Oh it pains me to think back to some of those days as I prayed on my knees for God to reveal His will.

But you know what? God was there. Every single step of the way, He was there. While I truly believe that I gave Satan too many opportunities to wreck my heart and mess with my emotions, God was victorious every single time in restoring and holding my aching heart. God used this time to absolutely prove His faithfulness and sovereignty. God used my mess for His majesty and walked with me. He led me to a place of complete dependency on Him and a heart that was desperate for Him. My struggle gave me heightened sensitivity to other people's trials and struggles. It gave me a greater appreciation for my family and my friends {side note: Seriously. God placed some really amazing people in my life during this time, who were active prayer warriors and constant encouragers in my life}. And it made me even more thankful for laughter and sweet moments. It taught me that it’s okay to need people. To ask for prayer. To be held by family and friends as I cry. I learned that I didn’t always have to have it all together. I learned to take one moment and one day at a time. To treasure the people in my life. To pray for and serve other’s more passionately. I learned to be a better leader. I learned to have more compassion. God moved boldly in my heart throughout the year and while it was difficult, it was so worthwhile. Through these trials, I have seen God’s peace, love, and grace in a real way. While I failed miserably at times, I saw glimpse of what it means to consider it pure joy when we face trials BECAUSE of the way God is glorified and how we are grown in those times.

Okay, okay…that was the difficult and emotional side of the year. BUT, I refuse to let those struggles define my sophomore year of college. In the midst of the tears and frustration, there was a whole lot of goodness. The Lord encouraged me with a lot of joy and countless sweet moments this year as well.

Shift Group

I had the honor of co-leading a group of freshmen this year. What a great learning experience and joy that was! Each week, about 15 of us gathered together and reflected on life while reading through Crazy Love (first semester) and Radical (second semester). It was really amazing to watch our students and friends grow and mature. I loved their willingness to be led by two imperfect college kids. I loved hearing their hearts and watching how eagerly they pursued the Lord. I truly loved getting to know each student and was blessed by their friendship and their wisdom!

Core Group

My Core Group was such a blessing this year! My group was made up of 12 or so precious girls who were also student leaders at CSF. Oh what sweet girls they are! This school year, we studied through the book of Acts and learned what the church was intended to look like. We were challenged each week and had the opportunity to speak into and encourage one another each week. It was awesome! I treasured the time I got to spend with those sweet girls and valued their friendship and willingness to pray for me and hold me accountable.

CSF

CSF is amazing. Period. I loved being a part of a campus ministry that actively works to bring glory to the Lord and further the Kingdom. CSF is always finding new ways to reach the lost and pour into and enable students to be lights on a dark campus. I love CSF.

Woodhill

Oh Woodhill…how it makes me smile to think about this dear community. Every Monday, I had the opportunity and honor to go into a low-income neighborhood in Lexington and just love people. That’s it. No objective and no strings attached. Our only mission was to love the people like Jesus. I absolutely loved getting to love on the precious people that live in Woodhill. God showed up big time in Woodhill and radically changed the hearts and lives of our families. It’s a slow process and continues to be an uphill climb, but God is moving powerfully in Woodhill and I’m excited to see how He continues to show up and meet those people right where they are.

Wednesday Nights

How I loved Wednesday nights. Wednesday nights were set-aside for time with my best friend, Jen. Each Wednesday we adventured around Lexington…often finding ourselves at Target, Joseph Beth, or Chick Fil A. Ha! The location never mattered to us. All that mattered was that Jen and I were able to stop and breathe midweek and reflect on life. Most nights consisted of a whole lot of talking, sometimes some crying, and a ridiculous amount of laughter...and if we were at Target, a quick look at the adorable baby clothes. Just because. Throughout the year, we would laugh at how similar our situations were and how God ordained our friendship was/is. God used Jen powerfully to speak words of truth and love into my life AND to make me laugh. A bunch. Jen has shown me a kind of friendship I have prayed for, for a long time. Her joy and laughter are contagious and her honesty is so refreshing. I can’t fully explain how much of a Godsend Jen was this year. My words don’t do justice. So instead I’ll just say, Thank you, Lord!

Home Sweet Home

My little home away from home was so sweet! Our little house was absolutely adorable and was filled with a lot laughter and sweet memories. I can’t even say how much I loved living with Lydia and Katelynn. What precious and irreplaceable friends they are. They saw me at my worst times and loved me through it. They prayed for me, held me when I cried, and made me laugh. Gosh, I loved living with them. I loved the countless conversations we shared. The silliness we always found ourselves in. The constant singing and noise making. The hours of watching Friends (we may or may not have watched every season this year…guilty pleasure and excellent distraction). The nighttime conversations with us all piled on my “cloud” of a bed. The hugs. The inside jokes made. The ridiculous games played. The spontaneous adventures. The honesty and vulnerability. The learning, growing, and changing together. . The household naptimes. The walks. The interpretive dancing. The meals shared. The procrastination caused by having too much fun. Our little 105 year old house was well loved and made these precious memories possible. Such sweet, sweet times. Peace out, Girl Scout, love you, {insert roar}.

Dating

Phew, dating long distance is not for the faint of heart. It’s hard. And anyone who tells you it isn’t either hasn’t done it or shouldn’t be in that relationship. Ha! I never imagined how much I would miss getting to do life with Darin while I was away. I longed to just be able to hug him, feel him, and see him smile.You know, talking on the phone with someone is really hard when all you want to do is see them. It's almost like a tease. I longed to be able to serve alongside of him and do life with him. I would look forward to the weekends while trying to be in the moment while I was away...which proved to be difficult. I always savored our time on the weekends, but they inevitably flew by and I was left to say another goodbye. Every time I drove back to Lexington, my heart broke a little. Goodness, driving away was so tough. BUT, despite the many tears cried over missing him and longing for him, we learned so much and have such a greater appreciation for both quantity and quality time together. We learned how to communicate, encourage, and love from afar and how to make the most out of any and all time we have together. We learned to be more intentional while we were both together and apart and learned to truly savor every single moment we got to share. Darin was so amazing this school year! Seriously. As I cried and cried and cried some more, he lifted me up in prayer, encouraged me, and loved me in such a sacrificial and gentle way. He was my sounding board, my shoulder to cry on, and my constant supporter and encourager. In the midst of his own crazy life, he always so willingly and sacrificially served me and loved me. He was (and still is) so thoughtful and creative in the way he loved me and pursued me. I tear up thinking about it because I am so thankful and humbled by the way he loved me through that time. Despite the unfortunate reality of having a long-distance relationship, we had some really awesome dates and fun times and made the most out of the amazing love we had been blessed with! Darin's compassion, gentleness, kindness, patience, love, grace, silliness, creativity, adaptability, and ultimately His love for the Lord, made me fall completely in love with the amazing man that Darin Mirante is. He showed me what unconditional love looks like in a way I had never experienced before and has pursued me in such a sacrificial and beautiful way. We have learned to better love, serve, treasure, pursue, and communicate because of our long distance relationship. I'm not saying I want to go back to the days of long distance, BUT there was absolute value in that time. I am in love. And I love being in love.

NKU

Well…if you have stuck with this post all this time. Bless you! After a year of great struggle and great joy, the Lord brought me to a solution for my distracted and torn heart. There are a lot of details I’m leaving out, simply because I have written so much and am officially exhausted, BUT, drumroll please...I have decided to transfer to Northern Kentucky University. After countless prayers (and of course tears), a lot of conversations from wise family and friends, a whole lot of research, evident affirmation from the Lord, and a trip to NKU, I have decided to take a leap of faith and go where my heart can be whole again. With the education program being two years at both schools, this was the make or break time. After such a difficult year, I am letting go of the reigns and entering into uncharted and scary territory. I am leaving all that I know of college life for this new adventure. I am choosing to embrace and invest in my future rather than postponing it. I’m excited and nervous for what the future holds, but I know who holds my future. And THAT gives me great peace. I’ll always be a Wildcat at heart but will learn to share a piece of my heart to embrace my inner Norse. Onto new adventures…

I Now Pronounce You...Husband & Wife

Oh how do I begin a post that I have prayed about and dreamed of for my sister for so many years? How do you accurately put into words the vast array of emotions I feel as the realization sinks in that my Rachel is married? I have neglected writing this post because, well, I have just had too many emotions, too many thoughts, and too little time to sit and process the reality. On May 18, Rachel and Jeremy became Mr. and Mrs. Eaton. The day could not have been more perfect! It was an absolute honor to be Rachel’s maid of honor and so much fun to enjoy the fun activities and preparations leading up to the big day. I really can’t put into words how it felt to see my sister in her wedding dress (because she looked absolutely stunning!). To walk down the aisle (straight down to Darin…ironic, huh?) at my sister’s wedding. To watch her walk down the aisle with her arm wrapped around my Dad’s as she attempted to process the unbelievable reality that was hers. To see her giddily and tearfully commit her love and her life to the man of her dreams. And to look around and see hundreds of friends and family who had traveled from near and far to celebrate Rachel and Jeremy and bless them with their support, their encouragement, and their excitement. Just a couple of my favorite moments were…seeing Rachel for the first time in her dress (yup, there were serious water works involved), praying with her just the two of us before the wedding, having pictures before the wedding with the wedding party, getting ready, watching Darin officiate the wedding, worshipping during the service, doing Rachel's makeup (no pressure, huh?) walking down the aisle and seeing so many people who loved Rachel and Jeremy, seeing Rachel and Dad walk down the aisle, hearing for the first time “Mr. and Mrs. Eaton,” Rachel and Dad’s father-daughter dance, delivering the maid of honor speech, dancing like a fool at the reception…okay, basically I loved the entire day. Ha!  It was so special and so surreal!

As the maid of honor, I had the responsibility and honor of giving a speech/toast at the reception. Umm, yeah…while this has been a norm that I have seen play out at countless weddings, I never understood the weight of that moment until I stood before our friends, family, and the new Mr. and Mrs. Eaton and attempted to speak without my voice shaking or my hands trembling. Ha! I struggled and prayed over the speech for so long, wanting it to be perfect, wanting to say all the right words in all the right way, and more than anything, wanting to honor my sister and remind her how much I loved her. No pressure, huh? After putting it off until the week before the wedding, I finally started writing. And if you know me at all, once I got going, I didn’t stop. There were so many memories that flooded my mind from childhood and so many things that I admire and love about Rachel. Needless to say, I had a whole lot of things I wanted to say about my sweet sis and her new husband. Because my speech was quite long (probably a little too long. Ha!) I thought instead of attempting to rewrite what I love about Rachel, I would share what I said at her reception…

Wow, what a surreal moment this is. My sister is a married woman. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Emilee, Rachel’s little sister. I want to preface this by apologizing for this speech being so long. Once I got writing, I had a really tough time stopping because my heart is overflowing with joy.

First of all, I just want to say thank you on behalf of my family. Thank you for joining us in celebrating Jeremy and Rachel and for being such valuable, influential, and special family, friends, role models, leaders, and prayer warriors in their lives. It is absolutely humbling to look around and see so many people who are eager to celebrate the amazing love that God has blessed Jeremy and Rachel with.

Rachel, you are an absolutely stunning bride. You’re always beautiful, but tonight…wow. You look gorgeous. There are so many things I love about Rachel, which has made writing this speech pretty difficult. Rach, I love your heart. You have such a beautiful, generous, and humble heart that seeks after the Lord in all that you do. I love how willing you are to give of yourself for the good of others and how generous you are with your time and your unique gifts and abilities. I love your love for family. I love how sacrificially you love and serve us and how beautiful of a role model you have always been to me. You are the most amazing big sister. You have always sacrificially loved and taken care of me. You have always had my best interest in mind and have shared your wisdom, time, love, support, and friends with me. You have always been my best audience member, sis. I love how much you laugh at and with me. It doesn’t take much to make you giggle, which I love. I love how lighthearted you are. Your “hancackle” has and always will be contagious. I love how unafraid you are to be silly and to laugh, sing, and dance, whenever your heart desires. You have busted many a dance moves over the years…and have provided quite the entertainment. I love how adventurous and fearless you are. I love your love for travelling and experiencing new things. I love your gentleness. I love how maternal you have always been. I love how hard you work. I love how innocent you are. I love how unassuming you are. I love how quick you are to forgive. I love how compassionate you are. I love how genuine you are. I love so many things about you, sis. You are so special and I am so thankful for you.

Rachel, we have some of the sweetest memories together, don’t we? Dancing, singing, rollerblading, travelling, spending countless hours creating extravagant chalk roads, jumping on the trampoline, eating watermelon, going on safari’s with Nanny and Pappy, playing school for hours on end, creeking, nightly sleepovers, and laughing a lot define our childhood. As we have gotten older, not much as changed. Ha! We have continued to create sweet and silly memories together. Rach, you are my best friend. I am so honored and thankful that you double as my sister.

I have prayed for years that this day would someday be a reality for you, Rach. For years we have talked about and dreamed for this day. I have prayed over the man that would someday be your husband and prayed that you would be blessed with a love that can only come from God. It brings me SUCH joy to see these dreams and prayers become a reality. For years, I have prayed that God would be shaping and preparing a man for you that would love the unique and beautiful woman you are and who would lead you to Jesus each day. I prayed daily that this man would be shaped into God’s likeness and would be a man after His heart. I prayed that this man would love to laugh and be silly and would be someone who you could laugh through life with. I didn’t know your name, Jeremy, but I have been praying for you for a long time.

I remember the first time I heard about Jeremy. You see, Rachel never talked about boys, so when she said his name with a smile, I knew he was something special. For about a year after the first mention of his name, I heard about this infamous Jeremy. How great of a friend he was, what a great leader he was, and how much Rachel loved serving alongside of him. The only problem was, Jeremy was perfectly content to remain in the friend zone. I remember having countless conversations with Rachel and with a lot of you in this room, as we tried to help decipher what was going on in “this boys” head. There may have been a time or two that I tried to convince Rachel to move on. Good thing she didn’t listen, huh? Rachel knew that God had allowed her to see Jeremy in a way she had never seen anyone before and faithfully prayed over Jeremy and their friendship until the Lord allowed Jeremy to see Rachel with new eyes. Your prayers have paid off, sweet sis. It is an absolute honor to stand before you and see that your dream has come true. I am so excited to see how the Lord blesses the two of you as you learn to love and serve each other as husband and wife. You have both patiently and prayerfully waited for this day and have finally made it!

Jeremy, I am so thankful that the Lord has brought you into our lives. I am so thankful that you love Rachel in such a sacrificial and beautiful way. I love that you love how quirky and silly she is. I love that you join her in her silliness and make her laugh. I love that you support, encourage, and take care of Rachel. I love that you treasure and value her. I love that you point her to Jesus and that you lead her, provide for her, and guard and protect her heart. I love your love for the Lord and your commitment to being led by Him in all things. I love how sacrificially you live and love and how you seek to serve and glorify Him in all that you say and do. I love that your relationship is built on prayer and your shared love for the Lord. Jeremy, your wife is one of the most amazing women I know and she loves you so much. As our families become one, I’m trusting you to take care of her. To continue to guard and protect her. To hold her. To laugh with her. To encourage and support her. To sacrifice for her. To provide for her. To respect, value, and treasure her. And to ultimately lead her to Jesus every day. I know that the Lord has brought you two together and am so excited to watch you two continue to fall in love each day, as you begin this new chapter.

While I have officially talked your all’s ears off (sorry), I would love to end this with a prayer for Jeremy and Rachel. Please join me by bowing your heads…

Lord, thank you for bringing us to this beautiful day of celebration. Thank you for the amount of love, support, and joy that is so evident in this room. Father, thank you for leading Jeremy and Rachel to each other and for blessing them with such a beautiful love. Thank you for their commitment to each other and ultimately their commitment to loving and serving you. Please use their marriage for your glory. Lead them into opportunities to love, serve, and bless others together. Let their marriage be defined by grace, forgiveness, and love. Lead Jeremy and Rachel into opportunities to practice the fruits of the spirit. Lord, let their marriage be defined by Matthew 6:33- “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Teach Jeremy to be a husband who, like Ephesians 5:25 says, “loves his wife, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.” Teach Rachel to be a Proverbs 31 wife, who sacrificially loves and blesses her family and who fears and knows you personally. God refine Jeremy and Rachel each day into your likeness and let them seek after you in all that they do. Bless their marriage with joy, laughter, and sweet moments. Arm them with your truth and faithfully lead them through trials. Lord, thank you for being the creator, provider and sustainer of love. Thank you for being the ultimate example of sacrificial love. Thank you for bringing Jeremy and Rachel together. Thank you for their love for one another and their love for you. Thank you for each person in this room tonight. Lord, let them know you personally and intimately and serve you humbly. We love you, we serve you, and we thank you for the abundant blessings you shower over us. Father, it’s in your son’s perfect and holy name I pray. Amen.

Here’s to Jeremy and Rachel Eaton. Congratulations!!

Okay, so the written version was a bit more eloquent then the reality of the speech. Ha! SO, for the full effect, here is the video version of the speech...

Sophomore Snapshots

What a year it has been! Full of tons of memories, lessons, tears, and laughter. Until I'm able to fully reflect on this crazy year, I thought I would document it through some of my favorite pictures...