21

Well, my birthday has come and gone and I am left feeling one day older and super thankful. It’s always extremely humbling to have a birthday…to the point that I usually cry at least one time every birthday. Ha! Kind of pathetic, right? When I was little I would hide behind our couch each birthday and cry and cry because I didn’t want to get any older…my parents called me Peter Pan for obvious reasons. I just knew even back then how sweet life was as a kid and didn’t want those sweet and simple days to disappear. Well, fast-forward about 12 years and I am still crying, but this time for different reasons. I am crying because I am so completely overwhelmed by the abundant blessings in my life. I feel so undeserving of the generosity of words, gifts, and love that are absolutely lavished upon me. I mean, seriously, I am overwhelmed with love.

So I turned the big 2-1. Big deal, right? Ha! This is the birthday I have heard about for years and one that Darin has jokingly talked about for months now. The big day came and well, it was just like any other birthday. Wonderful and special, but still simple. No crazy partying for this girl…unless an exceptionally sweet tea counts for getting crazy. In my family we have a tendency to celebrate birthdays for at least a week…we begin the festivities on the first day of our “Birthday Week” and party until at least a day or two after. Good times for sure!

The big celebration started the night before my birthday by having a super special dinner with Darin and Linda. We went to a restaurant called The Incline, which had the most amazing view. We had the best time talking and laughing and enjoying the view of Cincinnati. So lovely. So blessed to love and be loved by such amazing people. So thankful.

The pre-celebration continued by flamingo-ing our crackalackin’ friend, Miss Jenny’s yard for her big 50th birthday. It was so fun and silly to flamingo her yard at 11:00 at night. Ha! Good times. And then to really bring in my birthday, we drove down my very favorite road (this is silly, but we made it a big deal and may or may not have put our hands up. Ha!). Good times.

This birthday was a little different than my last few birthdays because I fell asleep without anyone bursting into my room and singing “Happy Birthday” at midnight (Miss you, Lydia) and woke up at home instead of in Lexington. A little bittersweet, but mostly sweet because I got to spend the whole day with family. I woke up to homemade signs by my sweet sis (who had made them and given them to mom to hang) and a Cinderella balloon in my bathroom…you’re never too old for Cinderella, right? Ha! That made me feel super special and definitely made my heart happy. After having a pretty lazy morning, mom and I went out just the two of us and got some brunch. That was awesome! Even though I’m living at home, time with just mom or just dad is still pretty rare, so that was a fun treat for sure! Then we did some shopping…because that’s what happens when you get brunch at Crestview. After those fun festivities, we headed home to chill and get ready for a wedding that afternoon.

 

Around 4:00 we headed over to church for the wedding and I got to wear the most amazing dress that my Sweet D had bought for me. For some reason I really wanted a birthday dress this year…you know, just something to feel pretty in on my big day. Well, I shopped and shopped and every dress I liked was either too expensive or didn’t fit the way I wanted it to. So I kind of gave up on the idea…until Darin and I went shopping the Friday before my birthday and we found the perfect dress. And what made it even more perfect was that it was a gift from my sweet love (which really was the reason I wanted a dress…it’s a lot more fun to dress up when you have someone to dress up for, right?). So that was super sweet and super fun to feel pretty and girly for my 21^st Birthday.

After the wedding, Darin and I left for our grand (surprise) adventure. Oh he spoils me. If you know me well, you know I LOVE cheese. It’s pretty weird I know, but I love it. If I could choose between cheese or chocolate, I would choose cheese every time. Ha! SO, with Darin being the precious and generous man that he is, he surprised me by taking me to The Melting Pot…aka a cheese lovers Heaven. Ha! The concept of The Melting Pot is super fun and completely experiential because everything is fondue style, meaning you dip different sides into a pot of CHEESE and cook your own meat. How fun is that? We were pretty nervous at first to cook our meat because we were afraid we would do it wrong and wind up eating raw meat…but, thankfully that didn’t happen and our confidence level grew with each new piece. Yum! The whole meal lasted about two hours, so that in and of itself was super fun. Mmmmm. After our meal, we went to one of our favorite parks, Ault Park, where I received the most amazing gift…a box full of 99 handwritten love letters. I am a words of affirmation person…meaning, I LOVE and long for affirmative words. SO, I was extremely humbled by all of those beautiful words. To the point of tears. Oh it was amazing. I sat and read every single one as I sat in the arms of the one I love…yes girls, it was just like out of a movie.  After spending quite a while at the park reading my notes, talking, and just enjoy being together, we went to Graeter’s and shared the most delicious (and FREE) sundae. Umm, this thing was FOR REAL. Chocolate Bunt Cake + Warm Chocolate Syrup + 2 Scoops of Raspberry Chip Icecream + Whip Cream…yeahhh, talk about a sugar coma. Ha! Mmm, it was so tasty. We wrapped up our night by coming back to the house and spending the last few minutes of my birthday with my parents. It was a super sweet and special day. It’s fun to be a birthday girl!

The festivities continued the next day, where went to Louisville and celebrated with family. AH. I love my family. That was the sweetest gift of all. I loved spending time with everyone and was once again overwhelmed by such generous and amazing gifts…including my very own “fancy” camera. Real technical term. Ha! But really, I am SUPER excited to learn about and use this new camera. I love photography so this was a super amazing gift!

All of these fun and sweet festivities on top of the countless Facebook messages, texts, and phone calls made this girl feel SUPER special. And super overwhelmed.

As I reflected back on my 20^th year, I was reminded of how great of a year it was. SO, I thought I would document some of my favorite 20 moments through pictures… (which turned out to be EXTREMELY difficult to narrow down).

20th Birthday Celebrations

First Time Voting

"I Love You" (Yes, in these outfits)

Living With These Two AMAZING Girls

Christmas Celebrations (Festival of Lights)

First Trip to Wabash

Valentine's Day

First Bouquet Catch

Ring Pop Engagement & 

All of Our Fun Dates

Shift Group & Baptizing Rhey

Zoe Joy's Birth

Skydiving

Woodhill

Wednesday Night Dates with My Bestie

Summer Weddings

Rachel and Jeremy's Wedding

Family Trip to Disney

Mission Trip to Canada

Our First 1st Anniversary

Lake Pickwick

I'm A WildNorse...Blending a Wildcat and a Norse

School, school, school…where do I begin? Well the first thought that pops in my head as I start this post is, I miss summer! Ha! Who doesn’t? BUT, summer has come and gone and in it’s place has come the demands of college. Gone are the lazy sunshiny days and the carefree weekdays. Sigh…

Not So Fantastic First Day...

Well, I’ll start at the beginning because this story has a happy ending and I want to fully describe how faithful the Lord is. The beginning of my junior year at NKU was rough to say the least. Oh my goodness, it makes me tear up thinking back to those first few days because they were so emotional and so draining. The Sunday before school started was all but a sleepless night between my overactive brain, my anxious stomach, and my overactive tear ducts (self diagnosed…kidding). SO, I woke up Monday morning with puffy and red eyes. Great first impression material, right? Ha! Monday morning I was a mess. Capital M-E-S-S. Just about everything made me cry and no part of me wanted to start this new said “adventure.” My sweet love came and picked me up and drove me to school, which was an absolute gift seeing as my eyes were too blurry with tears to drive and I had no idea where I was going/where to park. Once I arrived on campus, I took a deep breath and started my day.

After making it through my first class, I was feeling more confident and emotionally stable…and then I had a three-hour break. AKA- three hours to sit, think, process, and get emotional again…all alone…on a strange and unfamiliar campus. So there I was, on the verge of tears yet again. At this point I knew that calling anyone would cause me to officially break down and the chances of recovery at that point were slim to none, so I chose to use that time to eat my (packed by my precious momma) lunch, listen to music, and play on Pinterest (always a surefire way to bring me out of my sadness. Ha! Kidding…kind of). Oh and pray. A LOT. As I sat and thought (too much) I began feeling so completely alone and felt like there was no way of ever escaping the fear of regretting my decision to transfer and my fear of never feeling like I belong somewhere. Again…tears just on the verge of surfacing. About that time, as I sat alone with my headphones in, laptop on, and lunch box out (totally unapproachable right?) some goofy boy decided to pay my table a visit. Now typically I would have at least acknowledged his presence, BUT not that day. Not when I was doing all I could do just to make it through the day without having a meltdown in front of everyone. So this kid, who I’m assuming had to have been an overly confident freshman who had not yet gathered what the unspoken rules of human interactions were, sat at my table, a table that was no larger than like a living room side table, just staring at me. When I didn’t look up, he would swing around so that his back faced me and then make an obvious scene as he swung back around. If I hadn’t been so emotional I would have laughed and asked if he was serious. But instead, I simply ignored his presence all together and waited (for about 10 minutes I might add) for him to get the message and leave me alone. Geesh, talk about an awkward exchange I was totalllly not in the mood for.

Well, after that whole ordeal, I went to my second class for the day (a three-hour class that lasted the. whole. time.) and was finally finished with my first day at NKU. I was so mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted after the day that once again, I was so relieved and thankful that my sweet love was there to drive me home. Once the adrenaline wore off later that evening, I was left feeling completely lonely, afraid, disappointed, sad, and pretty much helpless. And then I cried. And cried. And then I cried some more. In the midst of comparing UK and NKU (and seeing more cons than pros), missing my friends, missing the familiarity of UK, and just being flat out overwhelmed with all that any first day brings, I was such a mess I just sobbed for a couple hours until I was all cried out and exhausted from it all. Of course I woke up the next morning with red and puffy eyes again. Ha! Take two on the first day of school and take two on another great impression. The second day was pretty emotional as well and ended with a horrible class (that I dropped) but I didn’t have any meltdowns (at school) so that was a definite success.

About This College Thing...

After considering dropping out of college, wondering if I actually wanted to be a teacher, looking into associate degree programs, and having a near meltdown with my advisor on the phone, I got my schedule situated and convinced myself that I had already invested too much time to throw in the towel now…well that and the fact that in the back of my mind (and my crazy emotions) I knew I was fully capable of achieving a bachelor degree and knew that I would be failing myself if I did anything less. Phew…talk about some serious drama.

Thankfully I don’t have any classes on Wednesday’s so they are my mental health/recovery/work day. Praise the Lord! I think having my Wednesday’s off were all that saved me from dropping out (kind of kidding). The first two Wednesday’s of the semester I got to meet with my precious friend, Torie and talk about life and just kind of vent and then laugh with her. Did my heart so good.

Then and Now...

Fast-forward a couple weeks and I am officially in my fourth week of my semester and surviving! Actually I am surviving and thriving. It’s crazy. I actually…brace yourself…like school. I mean, at least as much as you can like it. I am not on campus but about 10 hours a week because of two online classes and a field experience class I’m in so that helps A LOT. With all of my transfer credits, I am in the admissions semester of the education program at NKU. Meaning, I get to hang out with precious first graders four hours a week….and get credit for it. As I write this, I guess that hanging out with these kiddos is what makes me like school. My other classes are…well, they are classes…long and pretty boring classes really. Ha! But I am LOVING getting to see some of my hard work pay off and actually be applied in the classroom. Oh goodness, I look forward to Tuesday’s and Thursday’s now because I get to spend time with the little ones. I love them. And I love their little hugs as I walk around the classroom. Makes me tear up thinking about it because they are just so innocent and sweet. I can’t walk around the classroom without one of them reaching out with a little knee hug or one of them requesting “Miss Emilee” to show off their work. I am in love…which is a HUGE relief and great affirmation that I am in the right field of study.

Thoughts and Lessons...

Making friends at UK is so much easier than at NKU…I miss my sweet friends.

All of my teachers are actual professors as opposed to having all TA’s at UK.

Gold and black are totally not as pretty as blue and white.

Wildcats will always be cooler than a Norse…because really, who even knows what a Norse is?

NKU doesn’t have anything like CSF…which is a definite bummer.

Having to drive to class is both a blessing and a curse. I have serious sing along time in the car but definitely miss just getting to walk to campus.

I don’t necessarily like feeling like a freshman as a junior.

I am hardly on campus…only 10 hours. Weird.

Online classes are oddly intimidating.

NKU doesn’t have anything on UK pride…miss my Wildcats.

Northern Kentucky just doesn’t have as great of restaurants as Lexington.

Parking at NKU is soooo much less stressful than at UK.

NKU is very…eclectic. I have seen about every color hair of the rainbow and sometimes all of them together.

Getting to see Darin (nearly) every day is ah-mazing.

Going to class only 3 days a week is awesome and having a three-day weekend every weekend is making me spoiled.

Sleeping in 3/5 days a week is fantastic.

Dancing and singing around the house aren’t as encouraged here.

Watching Friends for hours on end is also not encouraged here.

Habits die hard…I type in uky.edu almost every time instead of nku.edu.

It’s possible to maintain “every day” friendships with friends you don’t see every day.

Planning fun adventures with friends and family make the week go by so much more quickly.

Not driving back and forth from Lexington every week is awesome…but I’m still using as much gas as I commute to and from NKU and Collins. Oh well.

I can actually wear normal/cute shoes to campus because I am no longer walking a couple miles a day.

I no longer wear sweatpants and a t-shirt to every class…gasp!

Even more of a gasp is…I actually dress up to go to school (because I leave there to go to Collins). Yeah, big deal everybody.

Listening to Ben Rector makes the drive so much more manageable.

The car ride is premium time to catch up with sweet friends/family…on speakerphone of course ;)

Living at home makes focusing and being motivated to do homework nearly impossible.

I’m watching more sports than ever before…can you guess why? I’ll give you a clue; it starts with a D and ends with –arin. Not complaining.

I apparently have an attention span less than 3 hours...because my 3 hour classes make me certain I have ADD.

My sweet loving driving me to my Thursday night class makes it manageable.

 I will always be a Wildcat at heart...GO CATS!

Faithful...

Well, there you have it folks…God is SO amazing. In just a few weeks time, He has allowed me to find a new normal here. It’s different for sure and I sometimes get choked up thinking about what I would be doing/what I’m missing at UK. But, there have been some priceless lessons learned and some seriously great times with friends and family. I really do love getting to do normal life with Darin…it’s amazing. No longer is our time together an event but just life. I have learned so much about him, learned so much from him, and we have grown in such a noticeable way these past few months by just being able to do life together. I am so thankful. It’s also been great to be really intentional with my friendships both in Northern Kentucky and in Lexington and Louisville as well…while I don’t love talking on the phone, I have found such joy in having catch up dates with my friends to stay updated and involved in their lives. Praise God for technology! I also love getting to spend so much time with my parents. They are so much fun and I know that this is a valuable and unique stage of life. My parents are so generous and so loving and I am so thankful.

And friends, God. Is. Faithful. And He hears our prayers. As I listened to All Sons & Daughters “Great Are You Lord” (over and over again) I was struck by how Great our God really is. In the midst of my all but emotional breakdown, the Lord put people in my life to speak truth and love to me. He orchestrated a way to make my schedule work out. He allows me to have time to rest in His presence by having my off days. He continues to affirm my decision and give me peace in each moment. He allows me to still feel the sadness I sometimes feel about missing UK…because it allows me to appreciate what I had and what I still have in my friendships there. He has convicted me in multiple ways. He has orchestrated an amazing group of girls for me to do life and be in community with. He has given me an amazing church community and ministry to partner in with Darin. He keeps teaching me and loving me in such a gentle and compassionate way. He loves me. And I am so thankful.

Great Are You Lord...

Life Goes On...

In the midst of school, I have managed to continue doing fun real life things…which has been great! I was so convinced that school starting meant my life was ending. Not dramatic at all, guys. To my pleasant surprise, life has continued and has been full of sweet days with my love and fun days with my friends and family. Again I will say, thank you Lord!

Forgiven Much...
Last thought...can I just take a quick moment to brag about my amazing man? My sweet love preached last weekend and it was so good...amazing really. He spoke about forgiveness, using the story of the sinful woman (Luke 7:36-50) and spoke such words of conviction and truth. Also, he used our sweet friends Josh and Heidi Brown's story of grace and forgiveness...wow. Hello tears. Gosh, I was so proud of him, humbled to love him, and thankful to be loved back. If you have 33 minutes to spare (or even if you don't)...check it out! We have been Forgiven Much.